


quietus

by megidolaon



Category: Persona 3
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 14:06:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6808174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megidolaon/pseuds/megidolaon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minato's never been much for the written word personally, but he can understand using art as an escape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	quietus

“Can you understand how I feel?”

It’s a loaded question with no easy answer and Minato’s stare wanders from the sickly boy to his side to the bright blue sky above them both. Putting his thoughts in order for an answer is hard through the sound of the cicadas but he manages anyways. He’s by no means at risk of dying soon but his mind flashes memories of a car turning over, fire eating away at his legs and bare parts of his skin that hadn’t been covered up by his uniform, fire swallowing up his mother and father who couldn’t get out of the car, and time spent in hospital after. The fear, the pain it all still feels so real but he’s disconnected to it all the same. It doesn’t feel real or like it happened to him anymore but he gets the inevitability of death and how it affects people. How once you’ve felt it’s gravity in one way or another you’re never the same.

“I think I might.” Minato treads carefully, looking back to Akinari with a neutral expression. It’s no secret to him that he’s a shadow of his former self and while he’s made progress in “getting better” he knows he’ll never be completely bright-eyed and as full of life as he used to be and he thinks that’s what the other boy feels too in some way. 

The scornful look Akinari gives him is almost immediate as the words leave his lips and he shakes his head lightly. “What a selfish way of thinking. You don’t know the first thing about what I’m going through.”

Being scolded comes as no surprise, it’s not like the other can see into his current train of thoughts or the bare-bones memories of his past. There’s no point in saying anything about it either because it’s not his place to dump his problems, Minato wasn’t even sure if they could even be called that, onto someone who had it as bad as Akinari did. In lieu of a response, Minato dips his head in apology and he hopes that the sentiment of it shines through to his company.

Whether the message carries through Akinari keeps speaking, holding a whole conversation for the both of them. Part of Minato wonders if he should feel bad for letting someone who was terminally ill do all the talking but he doesn’t care either way and he gets the feeling that Akinari appreciates his lack of pity as well. A genetic disease without no cure. The more he explains about it the more Minato realizes he doesn’t understand. _Unless you’re in my situation, you can’t understand what it’s like._ He was right and Minato feels a bit selfish for even suggesting he did without the full story. There were similarities between them both but the experiences weren’t comparable.

Silence falls between them as the words come to a stop but it’s short lived as Akinari looks over at him with a sad smile on his pale face.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to depress you or anything.” Minato has to bite back a scoff at that because it was clear the apology was genuine. It would’ve been rude and he didn’t want to offend the other but his words were ironic. He’s been depressed for a long time and a tragic story of a dying boy was far from the reason he was. 

A few more words are shared between them as the sun sets. As they both get up from their seats, Akinari with far more noticeable trouble than Minato, to go their separate ways he speaks up yet again before they part.

“I would rather you not come here ever again.” His face is turned away from his view so he can only see his faded gray hair but he can tell he’s wearing a sadly bitter expression by the tone of his voice. “You only live once, right? So why waste your life among the dying?”

Minato doesn’t listen and comes back again next Sunday. Then the next Sunday he’s free. And the one after that and so on and so forth. The bench to the side of the park at Naganaki shrine is their consistent meeting place. Akinari is surprised at first but he gets used to it quickly and accepts his company. Something tells Minato he even starts to become a comforting presence to the other. He’s not an expert or anything but he thinks somebody who will listen is what he needs. Besides, Akinari is good company so he doesn’t mind. Their worldviews are surprisingly different but they come from different standpoints and different experiences. Nihilism and loneliness ring in his words and their the same thing that Minato feels but never speaks about and while he never speaks about his mental health, he thinks the other has depression too.

Akinari likes to read and he speaks often about the stories he likes and all the books he’s never finished. Minato’s never been one for the written word personally, but he can understand using art as an escape so he never cuts the other off. As much as he likes to think he looks dead, Minato swears he can see flashes of life in his eyes as he speaks quietly but excitedly all the same. He decides that it’s one of his favorite things to see in the world, even if it never lasts nearly as long as he’d like.

Considering his fondness of literature it comes as no surprise when Minato finds out he’s writing a book. The more Akinari explains about the story the more he starts to think that it’s about the two of them. It’s dark, surprisingly so that even Minato can be taken by surprise to it and he’s seen the deaths of even more people in a few short months.

“When it’s done, I want you to read it.” Akinari’s smile is kind and it makes his tired face look so much healthier. “...I mean, meeting you is the main reason I started writing it.”

He looks into Minato’s eyes and Minato can see deep affection in them and it leaves him at a loss for words so he simply nods in lieu of a proper response. It’s enough to satisfy Akinari and he begins to speak again.

When Minato arrives at the bench a few Sunday’s later, Akinari is in the middle of a coughing fit and he makes sure to stay by his side and there’s slight hesitance in his actions but he can’t stop himself from reaching out to take one of the other boys hands in his own in what he hopes is a comforting manner. He doesn’t pull away so he assumes that the action was fine but he doesn’t move his hand after his fit passes.

“I...stopped taking my medicine.” He speaks carefully, looking down at his feet and avoiding Minato’s gaze as if he’s not entirely sure of his own decision. Like he expects Minato to reprimand him for his actions but it’s not his place in the slightest. Plus he has no intention of becoming a hypocrite. He knows what it’s like to be on medicine that doesn’t work. Questionable decisions aside, Minato pushes back any worry he has for Akinari aside. It’ll get him nowhere. After all, he was going to die anyways. The thought puts a bitter taste in his mouth but there’s no helping it. He’s used to loss.

The winter is cold and he can see Akinari shaking. He’s not properly dressed for the cold of December and Minato can’t help but wonder if he even has any clothes for the cold at all. It’s not a sight he likes to see so he pulls away from a brief moment, hesitantly, and starts to unbutton his peacoat and he can feel eyes on him with his every movement. When he hands him the piece of clothing though there’s no resistance but the look Akinari gives him is unsure.

After he slides the jacket on in what feels like forever, Minato takes his hand again and rubs gentle circles on the palm of his hand. Until today they’ve never touched before but Akinari’s skin is so cold and maybe that shouldn’t be so surprising but it catches him off guard anyways. He’s been told he has cold hands before too and he wonders if the people who had told him so felt the same way he did about Akinari.

“The reason my story’s unfinished...is because I haven’t found the meaning of life yet.” He starts. “I get lost in my writing...erase it...and then don’t know where to go next.” Squeezing lightly at Minato’s hand, he looks at him with the usual sad expression he always wears.

“...When we’re talking, I have a clearer picture. I can almost see it.” His gaze is torn away as he looks up at the dark, cloudy sky and Minato follows suit. It looks like it might snow soon. “It seems like that might be the meaning of life for me…”

Being told he was possibly someone’s meaning in life isn’t necessarily anything new. It’s something Aigis made quite a point of on numerous occasions but he knows the truth behind why now. Akinari is different. He’s not a robot who wants to protect him because he sealed death inside of him and it’s just a little bit baffling. He wonders if he’s even interpreting all of this correctly. All he can do is stare dumbly as the other continues to speak.

“I’m probably writing this book to find the meaning of life…” He exhales a sigh far too heavy for someone his age and removes his hand from Minato’s, placing it back in his own lap. “Well, if I do find it and finish the story…”

There’s more silence that settles over them and it isn’t long by any means but it feels like forever to Minato.

“...I hope we get a little more time together after that.”

The smile on Akinari’s face is weak but he returns it anyways. Whether it’s something that would actually happen between them Minato wasn’t sure but he couldn’t deny that the thought was at least slightly comforting in the face of the end of world. As terrifying as the unknown could be there was no point fretting too much over it and he nods at Akinari’s words. Something about the moment feels right and he lets himself lean in and their lips brush gently. By all means it’s nothing special but to Minato it feels like nothing he’s ever felt before and he hopes that Akinari feels the same.

“I’m sure we will.”

**Author's Note:**

> i don't really have like any explanation for this. i just really wanted to write something from minato's point of view because it's been a while since i have and i wanted to focus on something that wasn't protagshipping for once.
> 
> i'm pretty happy with how this came out for the most part? i wanted to add on the last two ranks of his social link and the meeting with his mother in the days before march 5th but i didn't want it to be too long or anything.
> 
> if this gets enough positive reception i might add on a second chapter with the things i didn't add on here.


End file.
